Mr. Masterpiece
Van Gogh's Grandsons
Artistic Impostor · Romantic Comedy · Bittersweet Humor · Finding Yourself
#VERSE
He paints with an Italian palette
Same as Michelangelo
But his Italian sports car and tailored suit
Are things old Mikey didn’t know
He loves American women
Especially farm girls from the Great Plains
Says their hair has the fire of the sun
And their curves are like wind rippling the grain
#PRE-CHORUS
The women love him for his poetic style
His chiseled features and DaVinci smile
#CHORUS
Mr. Masterpiece
Mr. Masterpiece
Decorate the canvas
With wheat fields and trees
Decorate your dinner table
With the finest French wine
Show those Great Plains farm girls
The time of their lives
#VERSE
They all think his name is Ruben
But it’s really only Steve
Born in an Iowa City trailer park
He’s never felt Italian breeze
But he’s quite adept at painting
In a tender Bob Ross technique
Learned it all on YouTube
But the girls admire his Italian physique
#PRE-CHORUS
They’re not judging the worth of his art
They’re all in competition for his heart
#CHORUS
Mr. Masterpiece
Mr. Masterpiece
Slather on the paint
In sunset orange and red
Pull back blue Italian sheets
On your boring farm-boy bed
Your act is so convincing
She’ll believe your slick deceit
After all
After all
After all
You’re Mr. Masterpiece
#BRIDGE
But young Steven didn’t count on
Myrna Jane Monroe
Home from Manhattan for the holidays
Where she studied Rembrandt, Monet, and Vinnie Van Gogh
Steve got her to his bedroom
Pulled back blue Italian sheets
But she was pulled to the paintings on his walls
Knew he painted more like YouTube than Italian elites
#INSTRUMENTAL
#VERSE
And, Myrna Jane said, “Hey, Ruben
If that’s really your name
Did you think I’d fall for paintings
Of local Iowa grains?”
And Steve said, “Aww, you got me… don’t hang me out to dry”
She replied, “Oh, I’ll still hang with you
If you vow to just be an Iowa guy”
#CHORUS
Mr. Masterpiece
Mr. Masterpiece
Unwrap the simple man you are
Let Myrna wrap you in those sheets
She likes you, loves you
For the person you are
But can’t handle an imposter
With a rusted-out Italian car
#CHORUS
Mr. Masterpiece
Mr. Masterpiece
Signed up for art at U of I
Now paints sad trailer parks under Great Plains skies
Myrna Jane split after the holidays
Headed for Manhattan, hugged him goodbye
Now Steve has tears that just won’t cease
All alone
All alone
All alone
Mr. Masterpiece
#OUTRO
Cold January
Winds have blown
On Mr. Masterpiece
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